7 weeks
19 dates
92384 oz. of DP consumed probably
Did you guys even realize all that happened? Did you know what you were putting me through? What's that? Literally no one asked me to do this? Okay but did anyone not ask me to do this? That's what I thought.
I have been on more dates in those few months than I have been on in my entire life. Granted, about half of those are non-Tinder dates. BUT I blame this entire Tinder experience for my dating life picking up at all. It's like guys can smell the competition. Or Mercury was in retrograde or I DON'T ACTUALLY KNOW. Instead of posting some long rambly vomit on what I have learned and how much I've grown as a person, I'm going to end on the same snarky note I started on. What better way to go out than celebrating all the champs who didn't make it? The Tinderers who are still lost in the sea of bad grammar and people cheating on their significant others. The ones who are determined to make Tinder work for them because their cousin's friend's brother's co-worker totally found her husband on Tinder so it can WORK. It. Can. Work. *sniff* Okay, can we be clear that the amount of people that find love on Tinder are probably among the percentage that find love on The Bachelor? It happens, but that's not what it's meant for. It's for entertainment purposes and most people are not being sincere. It's all a big creepy game to them. And the ones that are being sincere get taken advantage of. If you are in the latter category, you need to either realize that you're going to have to sift through a lot of human garbage to get to the good stuff. OR save yourself the trouble and get the heck out of dodge.
I have been taking screenshots since I started this whole thing, and when I counted them I had over 100. Maybe one day in my memoir I will include them in totality, but for now I have narrowed it down to 42 of the best of the worst. There's also some Bumble screenshots thrown in there, which for anyone unfamiliar it's the exact same as Tinder but girls have to say something first in 24 hours or else the match goes away. But the same weirdos from Tinder are on Bumble so I see absolutely no point to this. Something fun to do is watch your matches slowly die as the time runs out and think about how much you do not care.
Here goes nothing with the funny, the sad, and the WTF.
**slideshow temporarily not working, will get it fixed ASAP!**
And that's a wrap, folks. BUT WAIT. I have a surprise for you guys!! In between Tinder dates I have been working hard on my side hustle, a shop called Smitches where we sell hand foiled, sassy prints. And since you guys have been with me since this blog started, or at least you got to the end of this post, you deserve a treat. I am giving ya'll FREE shipping with the code TINDERER at checkout. The code will expire at the end of September, so you have plenty of time to choose one of our sexy Halloween prints or maybe some early Christmas shopping? Too soon?
LOVE YOU GUYS. STAY SAFE OUT THERE. DON'T GO TO PARKS AT NIGHT TIME. UNLESS THEY ARE WELL LIT AND YOU HAVE YOUR LOCATION TURNED ON. :)
Tinder Queen, out.
