Let's talk about Corinne. Although I will never stop making fun of the fact that she has an actual nanny, Corinne knows Nick better than anyone else in the house. She is the only one paying any attention. She knows that he makes impulsive decisions, is unapologetic, and is "no bullshit." That's why we like him, right? So please tell me... WHY IS EVERYONE SURPRISED THAT HE LIKES CORINNE? Calculated by three whole seasons worth of what we know about him thus far, this is his dream girl. And people are taking offense to the fact that she is open with him sexually, as if NICK, wouldn't enjoy that. NICK. Do you guys remember anything about him? The guy who slept with someone on national television without so much as an "oopsy daisy?" Or did we all watch Bachelor in Paradise and forget the reason he was even talked about in the first place?
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| He's actually crying because none of the girls offered to do him in the ocean. |
Now that we have remembered Nick is well, a man whore, and since Corinne showing her boobs on national television makes her a whore (except when Shawn from Kaitlyn's season ran around butt naked no one called him names BUT OKAY), they should be a match made in heaven. Yet these girls are losing their shiz. At least they were a few episodes ago, throwing tantrums and threatening to leave if he continued to show interest in someone who is exactly his type. They mask it as "just looking out for him" as if he isn't a grown ass man that can look out for himself. It's not caring, it's manipulative. It actually pissed me off how much time they were wasting talking about it. Have they ever watched a season of the Bachelor?? Talking to the bachelor/bachelorette about other contestants ALWAYS backfires, and you end up looking like an even bigger douche. Cue case in point...
Oh Taylor. The more this weird argument continued about what exactly is emotional intelligence and why Nick would give a shit about that, I had an epiphany. This drama was all too familiar to me. I recognize Taylor's insecurity screaming from a mile away, because I have BEEN Taylor. Hold your gasps, I know. But I used to have a Corinne in my life. Sure we didn't battle it out in front of TV cameras, but we were into the same guy and I didn't think she was right for him. At all. I thought she was immature and annoying, and I did indeed feel superior to her in every way. I was told by this guy, my Nick if you will, "not to worry" about her, because they were just friends. I told him that I wasn't (I was.) He and I were not exclusive, but we weren't NOT together either. Ja feel? I told you guys, non-relationships will kill me one day. Maybe that's why I like the Bachelor so much? Because I have been involuntarily on it in real life so many times?? I digress. This chick was gunning for him, and everyone could see it. And he wasn't exactly turning down her advances. One example being I walked in on them cuddling on the couch at a friend's house and let him later convince me it was nothing. I know I know, I used to be a special kind of stupid. And instead of telling him to go lick a socket, I turned my anger towards her. I haaaated her. So. Much. I wanted to villainize her so badly, similar to what all these lovely contestants are doing. They are making Corinne the bad guy, and Nick is just an innocent victim. As if he doesn't know the word "no." As if her mystic lady parts are putting him under a spell that he cannot break. But I am positive he knows the word no, and from what I'm seeing he is not using it. He is reciprocating her actions, repeatedly. He likes her! Get over it. If this changes the way you see him, then leave. No one is making you stay. But if you still like him and trust his judgment, I would advise shutting your mouth about who else he is dating because you signed up for this. Taylor calling Corinne a "mean girl" is the most ironic statement, because we have witnessed the girls circle around talking shit about Corinne in every single episode. They are no better!! At all. Especially Taylor. Not only does she not get a rose, she comes back to make sure Corinne won't get one. I am going to go ahead and predict the future here and say it will not work. First of all, the previews show Corinne trying to sleep with Nick and we haven't seen that yet. Secondly, unless Corinne is part of the mafia and Taylor has solid proof, nothing she says is going to change his mind. TRUST ME TAY TAY. You are only going to be more pissed off when she makes it to the top 4 and potentially becomes his wife. Which we've seen happen on the Bachelor numerous times, and I have personally experienced. Yep. My Nick ended up marrying that girl I had "nothing to worry about". My eye still hasn't stopped twitching, BUT I was an idiot to waste anymore time talking about it. Which I did. For months. But he was being the douche, and she's not a bad person. She just has bad taste in guys. Something we have in common. :)
And I am sooooOOOOOooooo done with the double standards. I don't have time to educate anyone on this, you can google it, but calling Corinne a slut and not calling Nick a slut is a double standard. Okay? Okay. Either they are both slutty soulmates, or they are simply two people with chemistry and things in common and are just trying to date on television like every other girl there. And bless Tay when she said, "their relationship is built on whipped cream and lies" because this is a fantastic name for their sequel reality show. Also, Corinne is the funniest contestant ever. I'm not saying we would be besties in real life, but her one liners are prime. I plan on foiling this and hanging it over my bed:
"Abraham Lincoln napped! Michael Jordan napped! Why can't I nap?"
If I could have a full episode of just her interviews, I would legitimately pay for that ish on DVD. It makes me so happy. In a way, I think it'd be refreshing if people were more like Corinne. I really do. She goes for what she wants and is 100% herself while doing it. If Taylor were a little less judgmental and removed the sticks from her ass, she would see that Corinne is not actually trying to upset anyone. She is playing the game!! You are on a GAME SHOW. You guys get eliminated WEEKLY. No matter who ends up with Nick, they will still have to tell their kids that they COMPETED for Nick's love. Literally. It's my worst nightmare. I'm still down for Bachelorette though. Bring on the man tears!
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| I like to rewatch Bachelorette episodes when a man has hurt my feelings. |
Alright, next week hopefully we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming and talk about some of the other girls on the show like WHO THE HELL IS WHITNEY and why does she keep getting roses?? Seriously, where did she come from? And I need to publicly apologize for originally nicknaming blonde Danielle "Snoozefest" because I thought she had the personality of a box of crackers, but it turns out she's probably just a little quieter than me but she's actually really funny. Sorry boo. <3
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